The 2016 Rio Olympics have come and gone and left an unsettling emptiness in my life. A week has passed and I’m slowing recalibrating my Circadian rhythms and TV viewing patterns. It’s worse than adjusting to Daylight Savings Time. Did your heart swell with pride as Michael Phelps became the most decorated Olympian of all time? Did you cringe at the Ryan Lochte debacle? Did you celebrate the Fab Five? Did you even hear about the 62-year-old grandmother who took the Gold in the following Olympic events?
- 1) The I’m Not Going To Get Caught Up In Watching The Olympics THIS Time, But Did Anyway Marathon
- 2) The Where The Hell Is Tuvalu Anyway Google Search
- 3) The DVR-ing Of All Other Programming While Watching Olympics
and last, but by no means least,
- 4) The Chip-Eating/diet Coke Drinking/I’m Not Cooking:Fix Yourself A Sandwich Medley.
Yes, it’s true. Yours truly brought home the gold. However, not one to rest on my laurels, a new training regimen already has begun for Tokyo.
New events to be added in the 2020 Olympics include:
Gymnastics For Sleep-Deprived Couch Potatoes; The Don’t Even Think About Changing That Channel Individuals; TV Remote Relay; and 90-Second Housekeeping During Commercial Breaks Dash.