62-Year-Old Grandmother Wins Gold x 4
The 2016 Rio Olympics have come and gone and left an unsettling emptiness in my life. A week has passed and I’m slowing recalibrating my Circadian rhythms and TV viewing patterns. It’s worse than adjusting to Daylight Savings Time. Did your heart swell with pride as Michael Phelps became the most decorated Olympian of all time? Did you cringe at the Ryan Lochte debacle? Did you celebrate the Fab Five? Did you even hear about the 62-year-old grandmother who took the Gold in the following Olympic events?
- 1) The I’m Not Going To Get Caught Up In Watching The Olympics THIS Time, But Did Anyway Marathon
- 2) The Where The Hell Is Tuvalu Anyway Google Search
- 3) The DVR-ing Of All Other Programming While Watching Olympics
and last, but by no means least,
- 4) The Chip-Eating/diet Coke Drinking/I’m Not Cooking:Fix Yourself A Sandwich Medley.
Yes, it’s true. Yours truly brought home the gold. However, not one to rest on my laurels, a new training regimen already has begun for Tokyo.
New events to be added in the 2020 Olympics include:
Gymnastics For Sleep-Deprived Couch Potatoes; The Don’t Even Think About Changing That Channel Individuals; TV Remote Relay; and 90-Second Housekeeping During Commercial Breaks Dash.
3 Comments
Sharon
I’ll be a hot contender for the 90-Second Housekeeping During Commercial Breaks Dash. I’ve been practicing this event since I was at least 6 or 8 years old.
Patty Davidson
File that one away under How to Trick your Kids into Helping Clean the House! Doesn’t matter when it gets done during the day, as long as it gets done.
Most people probably don’t realize just how much can be accomplished during those short bursts of activity. They might begin to suspect though if they use Netflix. A lot of the TV shows that take one hour on regular TV are cut down to about 47 minutes without the commercials. Thirteen minutes of work for every hour of TV watched. Awesome.
Limner
I am laughing so hard here. I thought I was the lone addict suffering through withdrawal on my own some.
You are right as rain about those short bursts of activity. I created some great meals in record time. Delivery! I had just enough time to call, alert JC to expect the door bell to ring, and was well. Housekeeping could keep itself. I used the rest of my spare time for important thinks like a shower, answering mail, making postcards . . . Wow. You’re good with time. 🙂